Hollywood Haikus


Reverse dolly zoom
Roy Scheider and Robert Shaw
Need a bigger boat


(Lenny wrote the last line)

Mistaken I.D.
Rug micturated upon
Dude, let's go bowling


This doesn't make sense
It's all in the wrong order
What is going on?


Heather Graham nude
and a big prosthetic cock:
Mark Wahlberg upstaged.



Boy meets girl on ship
A big iceberg is coming!
He dies. What a shame.



Tall tale of kidnap
Bungling villains, 'Yah' says Marge
True story, my arse



Here we go again.
Punxsutawney Phil says snow.
Here we go again.



Nothing’s happening,
Still, nothing is happening:
Where’s the fucking witch?



Tripods were buried
A long time ago. Why not
invade the earth then?



Kidman does spooky
Only works if you've never
Read a ghost story